you're like a bully in the Christmas story
i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
i love how i spend my mornings exploring my phone to see what i did last night.
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
He heard our neighbor’s vibrator through the wall, knocked on her door and now they’re doing it
The blonde?!? That’s just unfair! His penis already has a fairy tale existence
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