how the fuck am i supposed to make breakfast with spaghettios and mustard
3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
Randomize
