HIV tests are more positive than that guy
You went to the wrong car, tried to open the locked door, and started crying because you thought we were playing a mean trick. Then the owner came...
brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
Just showed my drunk fiancé where I got circumcised, she's been crying for twenty minutes.
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
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