I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
my dad came in to wish me a happy birthday and found me passed out in my underwear with the lights on and a plate of meat on the bed. i bet he was proud to have contributed to my creation in that moment.
thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
You proceeded to call me a hoe and then informed me that Bear Grylls is and always will be more important than I am to you.
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
OH FOR FUCKS SAKE! SOMEONE TOOK ME FOR A GODDAMN PROSTITUTE!! IM WEARING LEG WARMERS!!! THAT IS LIKE THE LEAST HOOKERISH THING TO WEAR!
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
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