we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
I just watched a girl at work pick her nose with 4 of her 5 fingers. So I now know what sausage biscuits taste like in vomit form.
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
Why did I wake up holding food tongs?
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
It's going to be weird as hell when you have kids. I'll meet them and think "Hi, Did you know that I was almost your dad?"
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
Randomize
