is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
Not only did a random toaster end up in my house last night, it's also full of skittles.
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl".
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
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