Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
You were walking around with a baby carrier pretending your vodka was a baby. You tried to get pictures on santas lap
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
I cagt a turtle and named him squirt. He's in my bathtub Caleb is feeding me peaches! This is the most beautiful vodka Thursday ever!
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
He blew a .19 and then slurred "well I did have some rum cake earlier today officer".
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
I have a number of responses, ranging in content, tone, and maturity. Choose your destiny...
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