just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
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