it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
Randomize
