What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
Last night when we were having sex he put the condom on backwards the first time. While he was putting the second one on I blew up the first one, made it into a balloon and hit him in the head with it. I think we're over the honeymoon stage.
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
Randomize
