i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way
He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
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