I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
You know, it's scary to think that someday I might buy a pregnancy test with pride, not at 2am...
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
Coffee's working. Just killed a fly with my bare hands.\nFuck with me.
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
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