I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
Whoever said drinking more helps a hangover didn't drink 96% of a fifth of whiskey last night. This is absurd.
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
Santa brought me a 1.75 of wine, and a liter of patron. I probably won't remember Christmas, so don't ask me how it was tomorrow.
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
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