I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
Quick, to the slutcave!
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having.
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
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