i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
As girls, Bert & Ernie are not very bangable costumes. At least not by who we'd want to get banged by.
I was kidding. But I promise you I'd still find us the most eligible bangables, even if we dressed up like a dumpster and a prom night baby.
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
Nothing screams "crazy cat lady" like a nursery in your house when you're over 30, single and have no kids.
I’m also apparently a very socialist drunk now
Instead of a horny one. All I want to fuck is capitalism these days.
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