If I see one more commercial for The Secret Life of the American Teenager, I'm going to punch the next teenage girl I see in the uterus and scream, "Wear a condom!"
this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
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