we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
Look, the coffee machine died a noble death. It was the way it would have wanted to go. It was a mercy exploding, really.
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
Randomize
