I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
Found Ryan’s keys in the fridge. On my way back.
Also, tell him he missed Nathan passing out in the dryer.
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
Randomize
