I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
what the fuck happened to the tacos
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
Randomize
