What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
Omfg I am plowed. Had drinks with 3 milfs. Going out on their boat tomorrow. They want to show me how buoyant they are.
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
woke up with a used condom shoved in my ear. i officially hate alcohol.
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
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