Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
He brought me another shot of rum, ice and my underwear when I woke up.
What a gentleman.
I KNOW, right?!
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
You started singing Baby Shark, screamed you have no idea how it goes, then somehow turned the beat into Bohemian Rhapsody
Randomize
