Your dad touched me again.
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
Crap I still need to get you a wedding gift. I'm just gonna give you a bag full of cash, lube, and condoms. And I'll use furry handcuffs instead of ribbon to tie the gift bag handles together.
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
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