There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
How the hell do you misplace a bag of tacos in a closet?
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
Randomize
