I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
1. so the new neighbor u called dibs on.. I'm sorry..but not really. 2. She lactates, I guess that happens when you have a kid less then 5 months ago.... WTF!! 3. Is it fucked up I'm craving Ceral & Milk now?
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
Some girls wake up to good morning texts. I wake up to pictures of an angry Shrek getting a blowjob.
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
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