she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
this boner is fucking legendary. i should name it and celebrate its birthday every year
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
I love that my idea of a romantic gesture to you is to send you a picture of my vomit saying "wish you were here". You voluntarily dated me. For six years ish.
Tell me when you get here. I'm drinking beer in the bushes next to your house, and I put my hoodie up because I was cold. Pretty sure everyone lowkey thinks i'm homeless.
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
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