Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
Randomize
