I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
He told me his condom was going to expire tomorrow and he needed to use it. I can't believe I fell for it.
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
I woke up next to her will a oven mit taped to my cock. Dear god, I might have tried to use it as a condom.
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.
Randomize
