I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
Dude, she told me she wanted to bang my dad. I don't know which is worse, the fact that she wants to or the fact that she told me.
i wasn't about to bring her gummy handcuffs to her father's funeral
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
A drunk and bleeding peter is knocking on your door... in nothing more than a sombrero, boxers and cowboy boots.
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
Randomize
