Nicole vs. Life
Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
sometimes i wish i could just stick a turkey baster up there and suck out the blood
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
Well my sober pact lasted almost an hour. Then I did four shots. But in other news, one of those shots I took with a midget. So like I couldn't turn that shit down.
There's a girl passed out on the sidewalk at the parade. Its not even 10am. She gave candy to children saying it was ketchup. Still think I have a problem?
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
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