it wasn't lemon gatorade
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
I have seriously seen way too may DIY cut off jean booty shorts and half shirts on fat girls this summer. Fuck you Pinterest.
Any idea why the fuck i would replace all the music on my ipod with the fucking Goosebumps theme song?!?
Apparently drunk you is really nostalgic?
So I ate half a jar of mayo because I thought it would cure a hangover. I thought wrong.
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
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