just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
We're the only two others left at work. My internal monologue is going: TAKE ME. TAKE ME NOWW. ON THE COUNTER. IN FRONT OF THE MANAGER. JUST TAKE MEEE
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
You really realize what your life's become when you're sitting alone in the house crying in a santa hat and pjs getting stoned on christmas eve before noon.
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
The cops high fived after they tackled you
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
Randomize
