You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
Omg I just drooled on the screen of my phone from smiling with my mouth open while textin bahahahaahah
I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
He gave me his business card. It was a Justin Bieber trading card with his number written in sharpie. I have to call him don't I?
i wondered why i had so many splinters in my hand, then i went out to my car and remembered id stolen an entire cactus
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
The girl in line in front of me at the grocery store is buying wine, m&m minis, a toothbrush, and condoms. Is it inappropriate to high-five her?
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
Randomize
