Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
She kept calling me her DD, which I assumed meant designated driver, so I was confused because I don't even have a car. Found out later it means designated dick. It's what her and her friends use as code for the guy they want to hook up with at the end of the night. I feel so used.
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
you win again, gameday.
we were in your room and your mom was singing twinkle twinkle little star in the hallway. so you decided to scream "twinkle? TWINKLE! What Fucking little star?!"
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
The only alcohol in the house was a bottle of Sherry. It's like cough syrup that I shotgunned off Strawberry Shortcake's ass.
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
Randomize
