Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
Kanye's agent is the only person whose job sucks worse than mine.
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
I'm crying at a bar by myself drinking a pear martini drawing things dicks are scared of. How was your day?
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
I found you laying in a field of grass near the trail I jog on in the morning like a drunken Bambi.
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
Mike's not allowed to drink vodka anymore. He couldn't get his temporary tattoos (stickers) to stick so he super glued them on.
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