i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
I was arrested last night for attempting to flee and elude. I wasn't really trying to run from the police. I was drunk and lost in the woods. I thought it was pretty obvious when I was waving at them from my puddle of puke that I wasn't really hiding.
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
Randomize
