Just figured out how to smoke weed with a toaster.
He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
i just got offered coke by a strung out pilot. my night just got a lot more interesting.
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
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