found an unmarked box of photos in the garage, they were from when my parents first got together. It was fun laughing at their ridiculous eighties outfits and hairstyles, until I found a pic of my dad. naked. with a boner.
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
zippers are such a cool invention
I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
Randomize
