I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
There is a strange man mowing my lawn. Best day ever.
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
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