i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
Dude, for your own safety, do not bring that chick home. I'm pretty sure you're going to find a marsupial pouch smuggling a fresh batch of herpes under that hoodie. Bail bail bail bail bail.
Dude, they're still mid-coitus. Pretty sure running in to high five my roommate mid-thrust is a mood-breaker.
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
You know that girl that climbed through my window and got in my bed with me and fucked me? It turns out she was real and has a real boyfriend who is real pissed
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
try to milk me bitch
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