your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
hey remember that mom you brought home from the bar last month... she is currently driving me back to her place. turning my phone off now.
I literally paid cover, got kicked out. Tried to explain that I was just clumsy, but mispronounced it. Then I got pissed off, stormed out..and clotheslined myself on a velvet rope. How was your night?
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
We had sex on a dog bed..
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
I was doing handstands in the jail cell and crying “IM A HIGH SCHOOL TEACHER AND IT’S CHRISTMAS EEEEEVE”
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
that is very illegal...i love you.
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