Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
I was thinking about baking his mom "sorry you found out i was sleeping with your son" cupcakes
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
We are no longer allowed to have pre 4th party week. I woke up with a donut stuck to my face and 'MILF' written in black marker on my stomach.
Mother of the Year
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
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