I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
I have just received a gold-medal-deserving sext. He wrote me a fucking novel. Not only am I incredibly turned on but I am beyond impressed. He is the sext god. I must bow to him.
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
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