Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
I stared at his lazy eye for so long, he thought I had one too. Then we bonded over our lazy eyes. I had to fake one all night. My head is fucking killing me. NEVER pretend to have a lazy eye.
You were captain morganning on the laundry hamper and when I walked in you slingshotted a thong at me and started peeing. This all came back to me when I picked up some jeans to wear and they smelled like piss.
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better
Being drunk isn't an excuse for eating all of the bacon asshole
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
My plan to hit on all your friends went to shit after the 3rd dirty martini.
Randomize
