Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
My mom asked me to donate my child hood stuffed animals to the poor then I realized I was hiding liquor behind them. I told her I was too attached to them. She understood. Wrong in so many ways.
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
My bed is full of blood and feathers
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
Did I just hear you ask Siri about the meaning of life?
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
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