why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
My parking ticket this morning was 30bucks. I feel like I'm paying the city to fuck you.
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
Randomize
