i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
Just had a handjob preempted by a huge bolt of static electricity leaping from her fingertip to my sack. I hate this time of year.
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick.
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
Randomize
