Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
Whenever I don't wipe thoroughly after shitting, I just think that anyone if anyone sticks their finger up my ass, they had it coming.
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
There is a 5-year old here fighting 'drunk monkeys'. He tried to knock a drink out of my hand with a plastic light saber...
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
Sorry, i'm on a strict diet of vodka and regret
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
Randomize
