The bar is so dead the tender gave us free shots for staying. They mixed 2pac and phil collins. That's worth at least three shots.
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
Im sweating champagne and woke up in nothing but a tuxedo jacket. What didnt go wrong last night?
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
All I want is dick and wine.
Why did I not realize how important my fridge was till I was drunk. It keeps all my food cold its like my own cold box
I'm in the recliner and i have a bottle of wine wedged in my cleavage, drinking from a straw. Clever and classy or pathetic and sloppy?
Officially hit an ultimate low today. I was so hung-over I threw up on the ground in front of the jousting display in the London tower. But on a positive note, Brits are very understanding when you vomit on their history.
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