Did you put 9lbs of birdseed all over my car?
You weighed it?
so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
I need a burrito and a hug.
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
Wake up. Finish House of Cards. Put on pants.
Accurate.
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
THIS IS WHAT CELL PHONES ARE FOR! So you can tell me that you're bringing your coworker who lives in the "Halleleuia community" home for a beer SO I'M NOT DRESSED IN LEATHER LINGERIE WHEN HE WALKS IN THE FUCKING DOOR!!
Randomize
