Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
Lexi was drunk enough at 2pm to say "fuck tom brady and fuck you too" to literally every person at the store in Pats attire.
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
Randomize
