Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
Randomize
