you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
She made me put my jeans under her mattress so that I wouldn't leave in the morning while she was still sleeping. Apparently I just look like "that guy".
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
Randomize
