Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
Woke up in a pile of people on the floor. His dad was already up and ask me to help him cook bacon because "7 lbs can be a mother fucker"
I either need to get adopted or have someone's baby, but I'm joining that family
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
All I remember about last st pattys day was I was in a bathtub with full bubbles, fully clothed, drinking out of a flamingo lawn ornament that someone cut a hole in.
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.
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