If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
This is the I'm sorry text for running around yelling don't shit on my rainbow, end up in the fetal position crying at 4 am in my car because someone shit on my rainbow
I will have you know I turned Latino David Arquette down for sex because he's married. Total. Moral. Victory.
Flo's in town, ain't she.
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
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