her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
You need to call dibs on the blond with the tits. It's your birthday.
Haha hell yea
Because if someone gets to see those.. It should be you. It's like God telling you Happy Birthday.
Why is there uncooked bacon under my bed?
You insisted on taking it to bed with you. You grabbed it out of the fridge while mumbling "If I leave this out, you fuckers are just going to ruin it."
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
Stole my 7th stop sign and 3rd speed limit sign last night. Not even sure how because they were bolted to a cement wall. Tequila gives you strength you didn't know you had.
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
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