i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize
