PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
You know you're hung-over when you're smoking and have the strong urge to eat the cigarette. No more buckets of gin. No. More. Ever.
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
Randomize
