We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
"But puppies!" Is not an acceptable excuse for trying to drunkenly steal someone's dog, you promiscuous midget!!
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
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