guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
We left the knife in your bed.
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
I will have you know I turned Latino David Arquette down for sex because he's married. Total. Moral. Victory.
Flo's in town, ain't she.
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
Randomize
