I wanna bring you to show and tell
I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
Randomize
