But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
Marry me.
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
Also while I’m drunk I saw your penis in like 4th grade when I walked past the boys bathroom
Randomize
