I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
i wish i could tell you the night didnt begin with me drinking alone
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
Just so you know the unusual amount of skittles on your floor is entirely your own fault. You bought me 20 bags of them while I was high.
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
i love discovering the tokens of our drunkenness from the night before. it's like easter egg hunting. today: smashed pizza rolls in the sink.
Randomize
