Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
Found a left over fake Olympic medal from our party last weekend. Awarded it to a random girl in the bar last night. Its the only thing she was wearing this morning when she woke up at my place.
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
I hope you have your own chainsaw cause I didn’t buy one for you. It was a gross oversight on my part
Randomize
