Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
Always great to be boarding a plane when you realize that what you thought was gas is actually very untrustworthy
Randomize
