"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
filled out health questionnaire for lower premiums a little bit too honestly. Literally got assigned a life coach.
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
Did I literally just offer a blowjob for help moving? Yes. Yes, I did.
Randomize
