this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
You tried to tell her that the salad was an afrodisiac then proceeded to stroke yourself with the feather duster
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
Randomize
