Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
Don't judge me. If you're going to fall off a bed you might as well do it gracefully into a bag full of beer.
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
After the 3rd time his brother walked in on us I asked "Does he ever knock?" his reply "This is his room"... Turns out he didn't even live there... I feel like a hoe.
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
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